It is enormously flattering when someone asks me to do a Sad Rich Girl Salon online or to do it in [their city], but this will not be happening any time soon. I'm very sorry if you're not near NYC but taking srgSalon on the road or online would diminish the quality and I hate low-quality anything.
I wish online was not such a paltry version of real life. If you've been on a zoom date or done a zoom class or zoom cocktail party-- you know I'm right. It doesn't compare.
Teaching on zoom is hell. There's no real time feedback. You don't know if people are silent because they're doing something else, totally distracted, on their computer or because they hate you and think your class is trash. And that's the people with their cameras on. The majority of people have their cameras off. Imagine if a stand-up comedian did a show (I know they did this during covid) and had to perform an entire set without any reactions. Madness.
If you still think an online Salon might be "better than nothing", let me give you the live music example. For a musician I'm a huge fan of, yes I will tune into a livestream of their concert. But recognizing how big the gap is between the online experience and the concert in-person experience --and now extrapolating this massive, massive chasm to the Salon and considering that OnlineSalon vs IRLSalon would have a proportionate gap - I can't do it. It would be unacceptable to release something so subpar just because it's easy enough to set up a stream.
I shut down the discord
precisely because of my hatred for low-quality. I didn't have time to manage it well and I definitely needed to be active and present (it never reached flow state/autopilot) for it to feel alive. I don't want something that is very much mine to have a lackadaisical presence.
Scaling anything these days feels like a gross thing
It's the Private Equity of it all. Making things bigger because they are trendy/liked/promising ruins them. I can't tell you how much i despise blank street coffee (and 787). A blank st opened a block away from me and seeing this irl symbol move-fast-break-things makes me cringe.
I'm not a blackpink head but private-equity-style expansion is what happened to that group. They're popular so their team works them to death-- makes them tour so much that they get sick (I could've sworn I saw a headline that said one of them passed out on stage while performing- but I can't find it) and they're falling apart but still being pushed BECAUSE they have a shelf life.
In a way, being forced to stay visible in this high-octane way shows a lack of faith from backers. Why can't the band rest and push the tour out a year? why can't blank street grow slowly and deliberately? because they (financiers) don't think it has any staying power. the $ people are thinking of it as a trend and expect the trend to die out imminently. They don't believe in the product, they're manically trying to eke out as much profit for themselves as they can- not realizing (or actually i think they do) that they're destroying it in the process.
I believe in my salon.
Not necessarily that it has the ability to expand into a giant empire but that it's the right format the way it is now. It's a high-effort high-quality thing (a luxe good!) and to pervert that in any way would mean it's no longer the thing i want it to be. Mass produced SRG salon is just crappy discussion group.
I don't believe in my content-
not in the same way as my salon. The salon has legs, it could go somewhere. It could evolve. Content (by which I mean short-form content, 2 min videos etc) is so limited. I've been making worse and worse content (lower effort, less time, less thoughtfulness) because 1) it doesn't change my views/stats and 2) I get to spend more time working on fiction. In fact (and I hope the significance of the following really makes you consider the habit of scrolling) making "worse" content has made my account grow faster. My content since mid February has been sloppier. I'm less concerned about anticipating rebuttals and countering them. I'm essentially letting myself be stupid-er and the algorithm is rewarding me.
Isn't that heinous?
Gene Pressman of Barneys (rip) said:
"Never give the customer what they want because they don't know what they want." This is what I feel about online SRG salon. It sounds like it'd be a good alternative- why not? just livestream it. But people aren't grasping that what the salon promises (and, i think, has delivered so far) is good conversation with interesting people. This would never translate online. You could watch the first 30 min talk of me+friend but the part that I think is the most valuable is the small discussion groups. The fact that so many people linger and continue chatting with each other long after the official event is over is what makes me consider it a success.
It's not just about "cheapening" my brand
That's part of why I don't want to do an online salon, certainly. I don't want to be associated with something that isn't up to my standard. But it's the idea of treating the salon as a "product" that feels ick. We're so accustomed to thinking in terms of brand building and how this salon is "leverage" that can make me look good in the eyes of the industry (maybe a magazine will do a profile on the salon! maybe i will be invited to a podcast!)
Like it's this "asset" that I have that i am not "capitalizing" on enough.
But the salon isn't an asset. It's not something I ever want to think of as a service i am providing. Honestly, I think what makes it good and interesting and valuable is rooted in a certain selfishness. I started a discussion group (unemployed girls club🤪) last summer because I wanted to talk to people who were interested in the same things I'm interested in. People who have the same cultural touch points so i dont have to explain what "west village girl" is (shots fired at my husband, sorry) -- and i found them. and it was a great convo. and I enjoyed it tremendously and so I continue to do the salon for my own enjoyment.
Just because people express a desire for something that you could potentially provide (and let's say they're even willing to pay for it) doesn't mean you should offer it. I think of Ratatouille and how when Gusteau dies, his name is immediately slapped on a bunch of frozen food that he would never have approved. People are clamoring to buy Gusteau frozen meals- but they'll probably be disappointed.
It's like all the Target collabs! I remember being SO excited for the Victoria Beckham one. And then being horrified by how bad the quality was-- but also. what did i expect? of course it's a polyester monstrosity- it was $30.
I swear to god ^^ this must have been a custom version of the target look that her team made special for her in better fabrics (and obv tailored to her tiny size). I bought this entire outfit and it was a disaster.
My salon will probably die before it gets big -- and that's how i prefer it. I'm way more likely to be like those directors who disavow their movies because they feel the studio or whoever is interfering with their vision.
If you are available on March 30th- come to the next salon and see for yourself if it's as magical as I'm claiming it is💖
